Sunday, May 12, 2013

Novel about Four Ex-Nuns


For the past two days I’ve been stymied about what to write for today’s posting. Then this morning, as I sat at the computer, organizing my array of blogs as bookmarks, an idea came: Why not share something about my manuscript for a novel about four ex-nuns?
         An old adage is to “write what you know.” And I do know something about nuns and ex-nuns. Also, I know something about the thought process that can lead to suicide because in the 1970s I’d struggled with those thoughts.
         The story developed from my wanting to explore what a suicide does to the family and friends left bereft and angered by the self-inflicted death of a loved one. As the main characters, I envisioned four ex-nuns, the mother of one of them, and a priest.


         Why ex-nuns?
          Because most people expect them to be women of deep faith.
         But what if the suicide of a beloved adult child of one of them tests that faith? What will moor them? How will the death affect their relationships? Who else, beyond the four of them, will be affected by death and by the changes within these women and their history with one another?
         I began working on this manuscript in the late 1980s, after I became a freelance line editor, copy editor, and curriculum developer. In 1984, at the age of forty-eight, I’d resigned from a well-paying and demanding position as the manager of the curriculum department at Winston Press. One of the reasons for my resignation was that I wanted time to write my own manuscripts.
         My freelance days were full-time busy with projects and with teaching evening courses on professional editing at several different junior colleges and universities in the metropolitan area of the Twin Cities. Nevertheless, each morning after breakfast, I’d enter my home office and write creatively for an hour. That led to two romances that never saw publication because, after all, what did I know of romance?


         Then the idea for the ex-nun story came to me. I wrote the first draft in a year, but laid it aside because the writing seemed uninspired. However, the manuscript taught me a great deal about writing. Its most important lesson was to let characters take hold of a story and direct it to its end.
         I hadn’t known that could happen until one morning when I came, unwillingly, to my Apple computer to write a new chapter with a new voice. Each chapter of the draft was in the voice of one of the ex-nuns. Three of them had already moved the story forward, but the fourth—Ruth—had been given no chapters of her own. The truth was that I’d developed an antipathy toward her because of what the other characters had said about her.
         Here's what happened that day:
         Reluctantly, I began Ruth’s chapter with her arrival at the protagonist’s home. An awkward conversation ensued between them. Ruth started to say something, and I suddenly realized what she was going to reveal. Her whole background—the story of a childhood tyrannized by abuse—flooded my mind.
         I heard myself say, out loud, “Ruth, you’re not going to tell her that are you? Please, Ruth, you’ll be hurt!”
         I began to cry at the pain and agony Ruth had endured. Tears trickled down my face and fell on my clenched hands.
         I felt the overwhelming disappointment of her life—a life that explained her barbed replies to those who tried to get too close to her.
         Then Ruth’s resolve coursed through me.
         I lifted my hands to the keyboard, and her story unfolded with its own grace and graciousness.
         My tears accompanied it.
         When Ruth ended her story, she, too, cried.
         And I?
         I embraced her. 
        Truly, to understand all is to forgive all. 
        From then on I counted Ruth as an aspect of myself that I now understood and loved.
         Writing, as you can see, is healing.

26 comments:

  1. Your writing, as ANYONE can see, is beautiful!!

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    1. Dear Fishducky, and you, as ANYONE can see, are a wonderful friend and supporter! I wonder if you were a cheerleader in your high school days?????? Peace.

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    2. No--I wasn't as cute as I am now!!

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    3. Dear Fishducky, I can believe that you are cuter now. I'm certainly more attractive than I was in high school when I had such a bad case of acne. I sort of think that I'm truly becoming more attractive as I age! Peace.

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  2. Writing from the heart is what it's all about. Your novel sounds wonderful, Dee. Any thoughts about revisiting it and seeing what comes up?

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    1. Dear Kathy, I have thought of revisiting it, but now the Bronze-Age-Greece trilogy had captured my attention, so I'm not sure when that revisit will be. Peace.

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  3. I can see the truth in being able to find out new and unexpected things about oneself as one writes. I learned many things from keeping journals all my life (until I started blogging, then I stopped).

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    1. Dear Inger, I never kept journals of my life and I so wish I had so that I'd remember more of what I thought and did at various stages. I'm glad you did and I bet they helped you in your A to Z Challenge this year. Peace.

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  4. This is revelatory to me. I fully agree that in writing what you know, the best work of the heart comes forth. I'm still working on finding out what I know!

    Your last line is a deep well of wisdom.

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    1. Dear Shelly, I'm wondering what was "revelatory" to you. As to finding out what you know, I suspect that you'll find that out by simply writing. Putting aside some time every day--15 minutes, a half hour, an hour--and letting yourself write whatever comes to mind is a good way to start. And even better way, I think, is to use the book "An Artist's Way," by Julia Cameron. I've used the book about five times since it came out in the early 1990s. You commit to writing three "morning pages" every morning for 12 or 13 weeks. When I've done that, the ideas have just flowed. Peace.

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    2. Dee: Revelatory in how real Ruth became to you. That's how to make characters come to life, and how to make us, as readers, really begin to identify. You are so talented, my friend-

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    3. Dear Shelly, when I responded to your comment earlier today, I gave myself the hint that my doing the Artist's Way again would be a good thing right now. So I got my lined paper today and I'm going to start tomorrow. I give the whole exercise a half-hour a day. Sometimes that's less than the three pages of handwriting that Julia Cameron suggests, but I write small and so in filling up about two pages, I do my three! Does that make sense???? Peace.

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  5. Oh Dee: Your generosity, your empathy and your writing are all huge facets of the person I have been so grateful to have found here in the blogosphere. Thank you so much for being yourself.

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    1. Dear EC, and thank you for your kind and generous words. With support from friends like you, is it any wonder that I have begun to believe in my writing? Peace.

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  6. That is a wonderful story about Ruth and her life events that shaped her. Beautifully written and it just took me from one word to another... and right after I had watched the series "Call the Midwife" with many nuns in it, one of whom is struggling with her vocation.

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    1. Dear DJan, I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story.

      Last night on "Call the Midwife," that young nun who's struggling with her vocation seemed to move farther along in deciding what to do. I so feel the pain of making a decision as to whether to stay or to go. She's torn because she's committed to a life to which she believes she's been called by God and that's a powerful incentive for staying in the convent.

      I well remember how I struggled in 1966--which was maybe 14 years after the midwife story is taking place. Peace.

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  7. Oh, yes. Writing is healing. Blogging is my therapy.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Dear Janie, yes, blogging my on-line memoir is being so helpful to me. Peace.

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  8. Now this book has to be seen by an editor!! Writing what you know and writing from the heart--wow! Who knows? This could end up being the best thing you've ever written, Dee!
    I've been watching Call The Midwife, too--but haven't seen Sunday's yet because I record them. Excellent series!

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    1. Dear Rita, in her comment above, Kathy McCoy also suggested that I revisit that earlier manuscript. I"m going to begin my half hour each morning with "The Artist's Way" writing exercise and that will help clarify my thoughts on all the muddle about which manuscript and whether to continue to look for an agent, etc., etc., and etc.!
      Last evening's episode of "Call the Midwife" was excellent. The series just keeps getting better. Peace.

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  9. Dee,
    I think this is going to be your "it" book! I'm so excited about this :) I hope it'll open the floodgates for you and that thousands of new readers will come your way.
    -E

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    1. Dear Elisa, the thing about this manuscript is that it's about four EX-nuns, so it doesn't take place in the convent, and I think that's what readers are interested in--how nuns live in the convent. I hope that my memoir will provide that info for readers--or least how nuns used to live. Peace.

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  10. In my life it has been books and other material written from the heart which has most moved and influenced me, Dee. This draft novel appears to have been written straight from your heart, so it sounds as though you should look again at it to see whether you can bring it to a publishable state.

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    1. Dear Perpetua, given what's been said in the comments readers have left here, I now plan to revisit the draft and see if it holds some promise. But I'm thinking that because it takes place after the convent years of the four characters it won't prove interesting to readers. Peace.

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  11. I can see how a story like this could have a lot of potential. So many ways you could go with the plot and characters and a deep study of relevant issues. I agree that the writing process can help us sort so many things out.

    Lee
    A Faraway View
    An A to Z Co-host blog

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    1. Dear Lee, I'm beginning to think maybe the story does have some potential. I'm not sure about what I' going to post tomorrow but I maybe do some musing about this.
      Like you, I really do believe that the writing process has helped me greatly. I know that writing postings for my on-line memoir blog has helped me come to peace and understanding about some aspects of my life. Peace.

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