Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Belief Behind a Query


Hello again on this rainy Sunday morning. I can almost feel the pores of the hard-packed earth absorbing the moisture, yielding to gentleness. The rain gentles both the ground and us today. And so I’m thinking again of how the word fascinating gentled my own held-fast inflexibility with regard to my opinion of all I wrote.
         All that is except for Dulcy’s first book—A Cat’s Life: Dulcy’s Story. In 1989, Dulcy gave me our story; I simply edited her words. Because she, not I, wrote it, I believed in that book from the beginning.
         In fact, two days after she began to channel it through me, I stood in the doorway to my Stillwater office and said, out loud, “This book is going to be published. And it’s going to be published by Crown. And it’s going to touch the lives of many people.”


         I just knew, deep down where Oneness and certainty dwell, that Dulcy’s book was a gift not only to me but also to the Universe. For almost two years I never doubted. Never that is until rejection letters from editors piled up. Then doubt crept in. Believing that I’d failed Dulcy, I felt guilt over my inadequacies.         
         In April 1991, a letter from the editor Jane Meara arrived. Fifteen months later Crown published the manuscript. It touched many people’s lives and continues to do so.
         But that was Dulcy’s book, not mine. And as the years passed, publishing changed. An agent became a necessity and the rejection letters once again piled up as I sought representation for my writing. Any certainty I’d ever had fled.
         During this past week, I’ve considered that one word—fascination. I know it’s the view I now have of my writing. But I think it’s also affecting how I’m crafting my query letter for The Reluctant Spy.
         Slowly I’m realizing that my lack of confidence may have tinged with doubt any query letter I sent out during the past twenty years. Perhaps the words I chose or the tone of the letter indicated that my manuscript was somehow lacking in something essential for representation and publication.
         A long-time friend once said to me, “What you send out into the Universe, Dee, is what returns to you.” Perhaps in those letters I sent out doubt, and the agents turned down representation because they doubted that my manuscripts were well done or would have an audience. I’ve sent out doubt and doubt has returned to me.


         In her comment on last Sunday’s posting, Inger wrote,

I sense your self-confidence here. A bit different from the past and, yes, fascinating. I believe that a strong belief in your novel, in that it is not only good, but also fascinating, will find its way into your letters to these agents. And they may start to worry if they don't respond, maybe someone else will, and they will lose out on a major novel. Dee, I have no idea where all the above came from, but came it did, so I will leave it there.

To which I responded . . .

Dear Inger, I am so grateful to receive these words of yours—wherever they came from. Just this morning I said to a Minnesota friend that I thought the query letter I was crafting was different from those I've written in the past. Why? Because I'm different: I believe now that I can write and I believe in my writing. And so my attitude has changed. I'm hoping this newly discovered confidence will be apparent in the query I send out. You've just delighted me with your comment. Thank you, Inger. Peace.

So there you have it—how one word can seep, gently, into the pores of a person’s life and bring change. Once again I thank Fran for that word. And I thank all of you for sticking with me through this process. I’m still working on my query letter while compiling a list of agent names to whom I’ll send it. I’ll keep you in the loop! Peace.

23 comments:

  1. I love the serene self-confidence that comes through in this post, Dee. Keep working on your query letter and when it's ready send it out with real belief.

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    1. Dear Perpetua, I do feel self-confident. That's so foreign to me when it comes to writing. I'm self-confident about my teaching and editing and so many other things, but about writing, I've been so unsure. So this feeling if new to me and I'm liking it!

      I will send the query out with "real belief." Peace.

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  2. When I told you your book was fascinating, all I was doing was telling you the truth!!

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    1. Dear Fran, remember that saying, "The truth can make them free"? Well you've seen in my last two postings the truth of that saying. Thank you again. Peace.

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  3. I have such a big smile on my dial here. I LOVE that you have finally come to see some of what makes so many of us keep coming back. You are a warm woman of extreme empathy AND a writer with iota of your being.

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    1. Dear EC, I'm sitting here at the computer grinning and feeling as if I've won the lottery. The belief that you and others have in me motivates me to continue on this journey with belief that all shall be well. Peace.

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  4. Dee, I am rooting for you so hard! And I love that you are enjoying the process.

    God bless. May your book go far and wide.

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    1. Dear Michelle, and I'm rooting for you down there in your home in Florida. For you and your whole family. Thank you for your good wishes. I'm feeling that I've turned a corner and the prospect is bright. Peace.

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  5. I love, love seeing this journey to self confidence, which in turn is causing your work to move into the wider audience it deserves. And thank you for sharing so much with us!

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    1. Dear Shelly, I'm just glad that someone is willing to read about all this! Peace.

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  6. I look forward to hearing how things will change in the future, Dee. I follow your journey with love and, yes, fascination, because your ability to grow and adapt is remarkable. I am hoping that the book will indeed be picked up by some discerning agency. Sending you back the peace you always offer to me. :-)

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    1. Dear DJan, ah, "discerning." I so hope my query will engage the interest and curiosity of someone. And thank you for the peace. I can fill it calming me as I work on crafting, crafting, crafting this query. Peace.

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  7. I send love and beauty and fascination and confidence to you. Feel free to dip into it whenever you need it.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Dear Janie, the query letter just isn't jelling. Please send me the confidence that I'm on the right track with it. Peace.

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    2. If you don't feel right about it, then maybe you need to step away from it for a couple of days. One technique you can try is summing up each paragraph in a single sentence. Then look at your sentences. Is everything in the correct order? Is something missing? Does a positive and confident attitude come across in your words?

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    3. Dear Janie, this sounds like good advice. I'll step away until Thursday and then do that summing up you mention for each paragraph. It's the attitude I need to watch--that it be confident and that I present the story with conviction. Peace.

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  8. It's such a joy to see your self-confidence infuse the latest query! I have very good feelings about this time....

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    1. Dear Kathy, thanks for your support. I, too, have a good feeling. Now I just need to determine which of the many query drafts is the one to send and then start sending! Peace.

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  9. Dee, your way with words is a gift from God. It's a talent that not everyone has. When you have spoken from your heart the best way you could to tell a story--you know it and feel it. To not trust that, to not feel that your words are worthy--is kind of an insult to God, isn't it? Stand tall. Fascinate us. Tell your stories. We are listening. :)

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    1. Dear Rita, thank you for reminding me of this. I think I needed to hear these words of yours about trusting being a way of betrayal really of friendship with Oneness and all who have tried to assure me that I write well. It's truly time to believe in the gift. Peace.

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  10. This will be short because something is wrong with my internet connection. I don't know where that stroke of faith came from, but there it is. I cannot wait to see what happens. I couldn't answer your email and this may not work either.

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    1. Dear Inger, I hope all is well with your internet connection. I get so frustrated when glitches occur. I've got the query letter ready now, but need to do a little more research before sending it out to various agents. Peace.

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  11. Great, it worked, maybe my connection is back.

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